Day 21: Perfection and Unbelief

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“A father begged Jesus, saying “If you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.’
Jesus said to him, ‘If you are able!—All things can be done for the one who believes.’ Immediately the father of the child cried out, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’“  ~Mark 9:22-24




The Perfection Expectation by Mary Beth Mutarelli
I’ve tried so very hard, for so many years, to be perfect.  I can’t stand to make a mistake, say or think  the wrong thing, or act in the wrong manner.  I think this pointless quest probably began in childhood, and it has since become a life-long, harmful habit. A goal of always “doing your best” is good;  setting an goal that your best means absolute perfection is impossible. Any achievement, accomplishment or positive result won’t ever completely meet the mark, and won’t be acknowledged or enjoyed, even briefly.

 It’s been a pointless quest for so many reasons.  Chief among them is that perfection is never attainable by any human. When I’ve failed (which is every time I expected myself to be perfect), I’ve been so disappointed in myself. Then I’ve spent considerable time going back over the incident microscopically. I chastise myself for the mistakes or shortcomings that resulted in the failure (or less than optimal result.) l pick apart all the places where I dropped the ball, and enumerate all the places where I could, or should,  have done so much better.  It is not a happy place to be, and it certainly isn’t necessary for me to be there, either.  It’s “rear-view mirror” living, and it takes my time and attention away from my present life, moving forward with the wind shield in front of me. And if I really take an honest look at it, it is self-absorbed living, too.  Why would I presume to think I could be the exception to this universal rule? Our human condition means we all make mistakes, and we are all imperfect!!!!

When I think of God, and when I put Him first, I am relieved of these unrealistic, self-imposed expectations. God does not demand perfection.  God does not measure or rank my worth or value by earthly “measurements” - such as my grade point average, GRE scores, or by how many people like me.  God sees me as He created me to be, and when I err, which is often, God forgives me and still loves me unconditionally!

Lent is “clean out” time of all the things that keep me from what God wants for me.  It’s time to take my destructive habit to the trash.  (I wish it were that easy-just to throw it away, once and for all.) In my humanness, I will revert back sometimes to this ingrained, hurtful “perfection expectation.” God knows this, and He understands. He’ll give me another chance, (actually, as many chances as I need!) while  He strengthens and encourages me!




Prayer

Lord, I confess to imperfection and imperfect faith.
Help my unbelief.  Help my lack of forgiveness—even for myself.
Amen



("The Way of the Cross" by Matt Redman)

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